Febreeze Huffing Epidemic Blasts Burbs

Middle to upper middle Haus Fraus are turning up by the donut dozens in addiction clinics across the country. Thrown their by their husbands for growing dependence on wildly popular Febreeze products. Rocketed by clever marketing schemes which included subtle hints on the desirability of direct inhalation of the fumes, users proportionately populated the American petri dish faster than one can say, "Yeast Infection," by spraying the scent into baggies and huffing the fumes, turning on their friends and neighbors, and even throwing "Special" Tupperware parties where Febreeze took the main stage. Fortunately for men, with the exception being Queenie types--though mostly isolated from the suburbs and therefore still less exposed than women--the feminine olfactory is especially attracted to the scent, while the masculine nose tends to prefer butt crack and wet dog, ensuring a nearly zero chance of succumbing to the allure of the odor. It is possible that some research might suggest that these women have been conditioned by artificial odors such as bleach, comet, scented douches, and other common household cleaners and deodorizers, to prefer products like Febreeze, as these smells are associated with cleanliness.